tu me plais, să mor dacă te mint

îmi place de tine.

nu mă faci să te visez în fiecare noapte, nu mă zgudui cu iluzii care mai de care, nu îmi dai lumea peste cap.

n-ai nici cea mai mică intenţie să mă ameţeşti, să mă zăpăceşti, să-mi dai frisoane.

nu îmi aleargă inima pe câmpii de tâmpită când te văd. nici nu arăţi a cine ştie ce. ce-i drept, îţi stă bine cu cămaşa aia bleu.

nici măcar nu ştiu ce culoare au ochii tăi, tu realizezi? cred că-s albaştri, că poate aşa se explică treaba cu cămaşa bleu.

ah, şi n-ai păreri care mai de care, nu exagerezi, nici nu faci excese. nici prea relaxat nu eşti.

şi totuşi îmi placi.

ai un zâmbet tâmp care îmi aduce aminte de unul din şoriceii din Cenuşereasa. Cred că ăla gras, deşi tu nu eşti gras. Gus Gus. ce mai comedie.

şi-ţi place brânza împuţită şi vorbeşti cu accent franţuz, ce nebunie.

cred că ştiu de ce îmi place de tine.

ai nişte steluţe în ochii de culoare neidentificată de fiecare dată când mă priveşti. şi se asortează de toată frumuseţea cu zâmbetul de Gus Gus.

şi steluţele din ochii tăi aprind steluţele din ochii mei şi zâmbetul tău tâmp trezeşte un zâmbet absolut ridicol pe faţa mea.

hai să bem vin, să mâncăm brânză împuţită şi să parlons nous d'amour, cheri.

să mor dacă te mint.

despre azi

beau vin
c-un vecin
ascult jazz
ce mai haz

cam atât.
a se nota că am diacritice.
şi nu mai ştiu a scrie cu literă mare la început de frază.

anarhie
şi beţie.

Entitled to Sadness

I'm going to continue writing in English for a while.
I'm using whatever laptop/PC that I can find to sometimes update my blog.
That's right, I do not own one anymore.
I actually don't have a lot of stuff these days.
I only have 4 pairs of shoes: one for cold weather, one pair of sandals, one pair of flip-flops and one pair of trainers.
I can pack all my clothes in a normal suitcase.
I do not have an extra blanket. I actually do not have A blanket.
How did I get here?
Easy. I packed the most important things I had and I moved to the other side of Europe, in sunny Barcelona.
And I am loving it.
As much as I cut down on stuff, I started growing on the inside. I started seeing myself from afar, getting to know myself better. All this while exploring a much sweeter, easier and more intense way of living.
I have moved to Barcelona, Spain in May and it's the best decision I have ever taken.
But all about my adventures in Barcelona some other time, in another place.
There's some thing I have to tell you about me. I rarely write when I am crazy happy. Why? Because when I am happy I feel there's no way I can sit and think about what I am feeling. I don't want to analyse it, I just want to feel what I feel and if there's anyone I want to share it with I run to them.
I also avoid writing when I am sad, as my blog then tends to be a collection of sad moments which does not represent me at all. If you meet me at any point during the day, there's a 95% chance I am smiling, laughing, about to tell you a very bad joke or waiting for you to tell me one. My grandmother, bless her, she always says to me: "My darling, you are made of laughter."
And she is so right.
So my point is I generally write here when I feel most in equilibrium.
Today is one of the days when I am a bit sad.

I have never met Andra.
But I've been praying for her since May in (almost) every night.
And today I found out Andra has left this world for almost two months.
I feel sad like I have lost a friend.
And yet I lost friends over time and I never felt quite as bad.

I will go to bed now.
But before doing that, for a very long time starting today, I shall pray for Andra's mother.

Thanks Boschi for the idea.

The story of Min and how I learned to stop shouting - part II

The word was MUSIC.
Music. Music.
Music, where did I hear about that, asked Min himself. I´m sure I heard it somewhere.
A strange thought started to haunt him.
Was it a dream?
He started searching his memory, digging into each dream he ever had. What was MUSIC? Where did he hear about it? Why does it sound so familiar?
He went home, tired and excited at the same time. A headache was pulsating on his temple as he went to bed without eating. He wanted to sleep. He had to sleep in order to dream.
And he did dream.
He dreamt about a girl, so happy and so full of dreams that she could have made Silencia look like the saddest place on Earth compared to the wonderful world she´d create even with a word or a gesture.
She was not beautiful, but to his eyes.
She was not sweet, but to his taste.
She was not real, but to his hands.
She was not alive, but to his mind.
And so he woke up feeling the touch of her deep inside of him and he knew he´ll never be the same. He knew he will not stop looking for her in the real world, as long as she was alive in his dream world.
He immediately packed his things and started planning his trip around the world to find her. He knew she was not living in Silcencia. He knew she must be somewhere else.

His parents were concerned, but they let him decide what was best for himself.
And for the first time in his life, Min had a purpose. A purpose so clear, so palpable, so strong it made his eyes water with tears of joy. He felt happier than ever.

He left in a week´s time. He decided to first try going to the East, since that was the world least explored in the books he read.
And to his mind it made perfect sense that his best chances of finding Music were there.
As he was crossing the border he made a decision. As soon as finds Music, he will...