burned rhyme

my shadows are all gone

I have a bow painted on my nail
And a steel cage on my heart

There's nobody awake in my building
All lights are out
Only bats scrape the black sky

Ashes
Ashes on my hand
on my soul
on you
all of you
Ashes on my kiss for you
slowly burning
till you're gone

my window is open
my dreams are misty
but tomorrow appears to be a bright-sky day

the sun will shine
the sun will break the clouds
and shatter all shadows

but my shadows are all gone,
dancing in some distant world,
circling with sheer happiness
with pure sorrow
and all consuming hopes and fires

all my shadows are gone
only numbness remains
and things I've lost in the fire.

Dragă mama,

Azi am văzut soarele răsărind dintr-un lan verde de grâu, înconjurat de maci și albăstrele. Era și un furnal cu baza cât curtea bunicii de mare prin peisaj, dar mie mi-a plăcut nota de dramatism pe care o aducea. Te rog nu râde.
M. dormea pe umărul meu, iar L. nu avea stare. Așa că o tot "împungea". "Copii râzători".
Acum sunt în apartamentul nostru din București, stau pe balcon și ascult Mozart, Doru Stănculescu, All Saints și Alexi Murdoch. E greu să găsești un mix bun.
Stau și-mi fac tot felul de scheme în cap. Ce-ar fi să dau la Psihologie? Sau poate la Drept? Sau Jurnalism?
Ce-ar fi să-mi fac un credit de prima casă?
Ce-ar fi dacă aș pleca în străinătate, să lucrez?
Ce-ar fi dacă aș fi mică, mică de tot? Dacă aș fi iar copil, iar imatură și nesăbuită?
Ce-ar fi dacă ai fi aici, iar eu n-aș mai avea întrebări, ci doar răspunsuri?
Azi am văzut soarele răsărind dintr-un lan verde de grâu, printr-o draperie albastră, cu ochiuri largi prin care puteai spiona lumea de afară fără ca ea să știe că măcar exiști.
Și toată lumea mea era acolo.

things that take 3 minutes

my favourite song on the AM album
a good cigarette
the intense happiness of seeing somebody dear after a long time
the perfect cup of tea
getting out of bed and washing your face with water cold as ice
the fervid moments from collapsing into climax and finally catching your breath
the guilty pleasure of procrastination after getting out of shower,
deciding that you'd rather surf the web instead of getting dressed right away
the perfect phone conversation from workplace to the subway
the hug I entangle you when I haven't seen you in quite some time
write this and still have a 1 minute and a half to think about you, about the world and how I've lost focus for just a second. there, I'm lost.
but I know I've been lost before and found my way back somehow.

I guess it's me.

This week, apart from being amazingly pleasant and peaceful, I got hold of two absolutely fabulous quotes. One I got from the (of course) incredible A Dance with Dragons (Game of Thrones fans, holla at me) and the other one from David's Rock Quiet Leadership. They both went deep into my conscience and brought up that moment of Evrika!-this-is-exactly-what-I-think-and-feel!

"A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one." - George R.R. Martin

"We would rather be ruined than changed,
We would rather die in our dread
Than climb the cross of the moment
And let our illusions die." - W.H. Auden

So what do Neuroleadership and George R.R. Martin have in common?
I guess it's me.