luni, 1 februarie 2016

My thoughts on body shaming

I used get a lot of body shaming from my mom.

Okay, I'll focus now.
But really, I used to get a lot of body shaming from my mom. From my family. School mates. But mostly mom. And she'd never talk to me, trying to convince me losing weight would be good for my health. Nope, she'd just make fun of me, and it was SO BAD that I would literally hate myself.
Now I look at old photos of myself and be like... Hey, dude, is that me? I was smokin' hot!
I'm not kidding, I was smokin' hot.
I mean... I am fat now, but I was smokin' hot back then.
But all that made me think. There's a really good chance I will be looking at pictures of myself in 20 year from now and think I was a hot piece of sh*t!
So, this goes out to the future me: you are really hot. 
And to the old me: you were a dumass. You REALLY WERE. SMOKIN' HOT. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I realized this body-shaming thing is a real problem and it changes the way I used to see myself. 
I'm not blaming my mom for it. That skinny bitch!
Okay, I'm blaming my mom for it just a little bit. But you know why? Because she never really sit me down and told me about the importance of being fit and healthy. She would always pick on me, give me examples of other girls that used to have flat tummies while making me feel bad about the way I looked in a bathing suit.
Well you know what? Today I flashed my jelly in front of people. PEOPLE I DO NOT KNOW.
So there you have it. I'm chunky and I know it. And I ain't afraid to show it. 

The subtitle to that is the fact that I, for the first time, undressed and got dressed, panties and everything, at THE GYM LOCKER ROOM. I did that shit after 3 months of hiding and dressing in a little toilet room where I had to sit on the toilet just to get my socks on.

I'm not saying I'm delusional, that I look absolutely flawless and I should pose in mf Vogue. No. I'm saying that I'm aware I'm not in shape, but I work it out and I care about other stuff more. Like culture. And kindness. And having real hobbies that don't involve heavy drinking. Okay, scratch that one out *stupid drunk grin*

PS - Today I made salad and I screwed it up! One might ask how can that be possible.
Well, it just happened. And you know what? I'm happy I screwed up! Know why? Because now I know you should peel the potatoes before you slow-cook them, ya-ha!

Peace out everyone. You freaks on the internet with nothing better to do than read my nonsense. You guys are wonderful, I love you.
Okay, I'll stop.

2 comentarii:

Izabela Constantin spunea...

You really need to know that you are such an awesome and inspiring person that, when I look at you, I can only see the light, the warmth and the kindness you spread all around you. I mean it. :) :*

Alexa Manole spunea...

Buaaaah tu vrei sa explodez de self esteem :)))
Love you, Iza. Mai pe silent in ultima vreme. Mi-e dor sa mai radem impreuna :D